I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
