i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
