You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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