Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
