Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
