I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
