You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
