The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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