I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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