i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
