White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
