Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
