the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
