Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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