Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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