I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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