No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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