I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
