Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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