He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
