No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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