Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
