He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
