I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't think brook has ever known best
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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