Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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