I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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