Who did Billy Mays play for?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
