i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
