Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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