I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
