I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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