I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
