I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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