Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
