i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
