Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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