I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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