There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
