I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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