Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
