So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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