I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
