All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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