John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We had to coat check the pizza.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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