At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
