You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
