there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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