Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
