it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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