I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
